Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I Hate You!

I dunno whether I miss him or not.. I dunno whether I want him to call me or not.. All I know is that I am so angry at him.. Is that I hate what he did.. What he is doing.. I hate how he thinks its something silly to fight on.. I hate how he keeps me waiting.. & honestly.. I dun think I am ready for this any more.. I dun think I wanna wait.. I hate how he finds it hard to be with me.. I hate how I feel now about being with him.. Maybe I dun wanna be with him anymore.. Maybe I have to move on without him.. Maybe I miss him.. I miss his voice.. I miss talking to him late at night.. I miss talking to him early in the morning.. I miss spending my weekends with him.. I missed him in the new year.. I hate how I love him.. I hate how I love him that makes me hate him!
Guys are stupid.. They are..! Sometimes I wish I was never in love.. Yet I enjoyed being in love with him.. Pff.. I dun wanna think of loving him..! I hate how cold he is.. I hate how he thinks I will be waiting for him forever.. I hate how I dun even know what I am writing.. I hate how I am repeating myself.. My words.. I hate how everyone is telling me to move on and leave him behind and I hate the fact that I cant.. I hate how everyone thinks I am stupid for sticking with him.. How I feel stupid for being with him.. I hate how he makes me laugh.. How he makes me smile.. How he loves me.. How I feel when I am with him..
I hate how he gives me promises that he knows he can never make.. I hate how every time I remember this I get so angry that I dun wanna talk to him, I dun wanna remember him!..
I hate how confused he makes me feel.. How I can love him in a minute and hate him in the second minute!

I love you so much that it hurts.. I love you so much that I ended up hating what you do.. I love you so much that I expected you to do much more than what apparently you cant do.. I love you so much that I wish you loved me the same.. I love you so much that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.. I love you so much that I know if someone is not welling to make a step forward it means he is either not ready or deep inside he doesnt wanna do it.. I love you so much that I dunno till when I will be loving you...

10 comments:

C said...

Hormones FAULT! Love makes us girls acting silly/stupid :( You love him a lot! Thats why he is the only person who can hurt you :( Stupid guys always take things for granted! I wish one day he wake up and realize how lovely and sweet you are!

Standy said...

:(

*Hugs*

Sadness4ever said...

in our world mayb no one will understand this equation

You+Me=1

Sometimes they always changes the result without no reason
maybe not him/her
maybe he/she is doing the best
but it's bad circumestances

wish they can use their mind to think just a little bit and solve the equation coz it's too easy

you+me=1

but in our world it's too hard to do it

i dunno f um right or wrong
it came up in my mind

um sorry to hear that
siso

:(

hope he will coming soo sooon an u live happily never after ^_^

amalikrunner said...

Only if we knew how much value we've been given by God in our lives we'd never fight :)

SY.enceladus said...

Girl, wanna hug you right now... Men these days... sometimes it's best to not rely on your heart too much, especially because you're young. what does your mind have to say?

Butterfly Chick said...

C..
True.. Love makes us act really stupid which I hate and which I WISH I can CONTROL !
I love him a lot thats why I cant let go... No matter how stupid it feels, I just cant let go of him..!
Thanks for your sweet words babe :**

Standy..
Me love hugs... *hugs back*

Butterfly Chick said...

You + Me = 1
Loved it :).. You made it so simple .. I wish it was that simple... !

Malik..
Your comment confused me to be honest..
You were missed.. Keep in touch :)..

SY..
Its stupid to rely on your heart I agree.. But I wish I can control it.. I cant.. I tried.. & tried.. & tried.. But I just cant.. My mind doesnt have to say anything, because my heart has the major power! Everytime I think with my mind I get into a fight, and then my heart take me out of this fight! Its stupid I admit.. But when you love someone you cant stop yourself from being stupid!!

Diaries of a screw up said...

Funny how most of us are going thru the exact same situation, this just proves that guys are emotionally crippled :p be strong, if i can do it then so can you!

Anonymous said...

This post reminds me of the movie
"10 things i hate about you "

Nisreen

Butterfly Chick said...

Diaries of screw up..
I am trying to be strong.. Trying to do it.. I fail everytime.. I dunno till when I will be failing!

Nisreen..
Nawarti el blog :)..
Yeah maybe because its all about hate.. I dun like this movie though :P I dislike the actress