Monday, July 25, 2011

Cheating?!

Cheating..?! define it for me.. talk to me about it.. tell me how does it feel.. tell me what happened to you.. Perhaps by listening to your stories I wouldn’t feel bad for myself.. I would be feeling bad for you!! Its harsh isn’t it? I never believed in love because somehow I knew it ends up with cheating and breaking up! I hate cheaters.. and you knew it.. you knew how scared I was of this.. you promised me you wont harm me.. you promised me you will take care of me.. I trusted you.. I fell for you.. I couldn’t imagine my life without you.. and when you became the center of my life.. you took out your dirty knife.. you stabbed me right on my heart.. and took out the knife.. full with my blood.. I kept watching it.. tears inside my eyes.. couldn’t talk.. I laughed.. laughed so hard that I ended up crying.. why did you do this..! why..! what did I do wrong! Where did I go wrong!..
When someone cheats on you, you lose yourself confident.. you lose faith.. you lose hope.. you end up being numb..
Why am I writing this? I don’t know! Why do I feel like this? I don’t know either! I love you.. I know I do.. I am just so scared of this.. I am scared that sometimes I still have doubt about you.. about us.. I am scared that sometimes I remember all the things that happened and it really kills me.. it kills to remember what you have done.. it kills to remember that you kissed her.. that you touched her.. that you really enjoyed every moment with her.. that you actually done stuff in front of me not caring of how I would feel.. that you actually knew I was in pain but didn’t care.. I love you.. but.. but I really dunno..
Sometimes you just need to let it go.. I don’t wanna think about what happened.. every time I do.. I try to think about something else.. becuz it hurts me so much to think about what happened..
Yes I believe in second chance.. yes I don’t show you how I feel.. yes I act like I forgot about it.. yes I did forgive.. but my heart.. my heart is still in pain.. my heart still ache me from time to time.. forgive me.. yes.. I am asking for forgiveness.. forgive me because I still sometimes suspect on you.. because I still sometimes think that you will cheat on me again..
I believe in myself.. and if this happened.. I don’t think you would be deserving a third chance!


I have no idea about what I wrote here.. I am not gonna edit or correct it because I don’t feel like reading it again.. nope.. its not my day I guess..
Good night all..

11 comments:

Standy said...

definaatly doesnt deserve a third chance..

*big comfot hug*

he doesnt deserve your tears..

Butterfly Chick said...

Thanks hun *hugs back*

Bo-Ya3gooob said...

a cheater doesn't even deserve a second chance... i believe if you open a door of chances with someone he would interpret your kindness to his advantage and in a wrong way...

BTW love the new cute beautiful pink page keep it up...

Butterfly Chick said...

Thanks dear for the compliment :)..
a lot of people say that, they say - and told me - that a cheater doesnt deserve a second chance cuz he will do it all over again! I somehow dun believe in that, maybe most of cheaters wud do this, bas it doesnt mean that we shouldnt give a second chance for someone we really love..
I had troubles before in giving second chances I admit it, but I never regret it I guess, I felt stupid, but again I did what I thought its the best back then.. I hope I dun regret it this time !

..::Amu::.. said...

I don't think a cheater even deserves a second chance!! Once a cheater always the same!! I have been there n did the mistake of giving a second chance but it didn't work ... Sorry for what happened with u!!

Butterfly Chick said...

Amu..
What happened actually was before one year from now - almost - I guess by him doing this and me taking him back things changed, to better, so I somehow say thank God for that becuz without this we wouldnt be this close now - maybe you will find it stupid I know -
The problem is I cant forget.. It kills me to remember what happened.. and these days he is getting busy somehow which make me remember how busy he was when he was cheating!

I hope all my thoughts are wrong anyway..

See.. We all are giving second chances, maybe some regret it, but they actually gave a second chance becuz they loved that person so much! I guess its hard to ask someone not to give a second chance while you couldnt stop yourself from giving it!

Thank you dear and I am sorry for what happened to you..

C said...

Come here let me give you a bear hug :* Love you my sweet sweet friend! Do not ever forgive if this happen the third time!

Chick Flick Journal said...

I'm sorry. this must be very difficult on you *hug*

out of personal experience I'm sure something ahppened.. that you dont know of

Butterfly Chick said...

C..
I wont *hope so!*.. Thanks dear.. Love you too :**

Chick..
Yeah it is somehow.. Hmm I didnt get what you mean by ur sure that sth happened and I dun know abt?
Thanks anyway *hugs*

r.alsharif said...

That freaking sucks! I'm so sorry ;( *hugs*
No, he definitely doesn't deserve a third chance.
The only cheating i've experienced is with friends. More of betrayal. So I can't really relate, just imagine. And I imagine it hurts like hell! Hang in there and inshallah someone that deserves you comes along!
xx

Butterfly Chick said...

I experienced it with friends too! it sucks even more.. I gave my friend 3 chances and she broke my heart 3 times! I cant hate her though :) I still remember the nice times we had.. Sometimes you have to remember the good times and forget abt the bad times =)
I dun want to be friends with her again bas I cant hate her :)

thanks sweetie :**