Like a butterfly.. I fly away..
Have you ever felt like you are lost.. Like you are in a circle and you can't get out from it..? Have you ever felt like the path you are walking at is wrong..? Have you ever felt like you are so weak to go on alone..?
I wonder why I stopped writing.. Is it because I am feeling so empty lately that I have nothing to write about..? Is it because I only write when something bad occurs..? Or is it because I finally realized that my writing is full of rubbish..?!
Sometimes I feel like I am a bad person.. An opportunistic person.. A selfish person.. I feel like I only take advantages from others.. I use people.. I spend my time with them when I feel lonely and as soon as I get bored I leave them behind.. Without caring.. All what matters is me.. What I feel.. And who is the next victim..
I know many people would say this is not me.. But unfortunately this is me.. Those people I left would know that this mean character is me.. I hurt many people.. I hurt people who loved me with all of their heart.. And I am still hurting them..!! It is like I cant stop doing this.. I love them.. And I know whatever I am doing is wrong.. Yet I can't stop it.. And I wish they would never find out..!
Like a butterfly.. I fly away.. I fly with my pain.. I fly with their pain.. I land on a pink rose.. I smile.. I loved them.. I love them.. It doesn’t matter what people think.. It doesn’t matter what they feel.. It doesn’t matter where we go.. it doesn’t matter who would understand me.. I matter.. And that’s what matter..
August 20, 2009