Monday, December 26, 2011

Out of Blue

Sometimes, there are some stuff which are hard for us to forget.. Even when we try our best to forgive that person for doing it all wrong.. Even when we try our best not to think about it.. Even when we convince ourselves that we forgot about it.. Deep inside.. Deep inside it still hurts when you remember it.. You try as hard as you can to push this thought.. Not for them.. For you not to get hurt.. For you not to hate them.. For you not to remember what happened..
I do forgive.. I just find it hard to forget.. It still hurts.. It still hurts so deeply when it crosses my mind.. Sometimes those who are so close to you.. Whom you trust the most.. Are those who hurt you the most..
I hate myself when I remember this.. I hate myself when I flip back the pages to where we were.. I hate myself when I hate you even for a second.. All my life I was scared of this.. & life surprised me by bringing it to me from all the people I truly loved.. All the people I truly cared for.. & all the people I truly trusted..
I believe in second chances.. I have been saying this over and over again.. I do believe in second chances.. But.. Maybe I am still scared.. Maybe a part of me still afraid.. I am scared to love.. I am scared to trust.. & I am even scared to think of this.. I try my best to shake this idea out of my mind.. It just comes over and over and over again.. Maybe I don't talk about it.. Maybe I don’t show it.. But it still hurt.. It hurts so deeply.. so so deeply that you will never know.. That you will never understand.. That you will never heal..

11 comments:

Shabana said...

I think all of us have been there but for everything, time really does help. Here's a short story for you:

A wise man once sat in the audience & cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time. He cracked the same joke again & again, when there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said,
“When u can’t laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again”

Hope you feel better!
www.thesilverkickdiaries.blogspot.com

Rui C. said...

Butterfly, you are just 25, while it is common for us to remember, regret, and relive our most hated moments, I hope that not all your days are filled with said anguish. You have much ahead.
I read Shabana's comment, I like that story :)

I wish you a happy, happy holiday, Butterfly.
May your time be filled with happiness and cheer ^.^

Shabana said...

Thanks Rui. Butterfly I hope you check the 'Email follw up comments' on my blog because I reply to each comment!

Butterfly Chick said...

Shabana..
Loved the story :).. I believe time heals too.. I hope it heals all the wound from all the people..
I loved your blog.. Loved the photos and loved the high heals! I am sure I replied on your last post but I couldnt find my comment and that made me think twice.. Perhaps I am still sleepy and I posted somewhere else by mistake :$ lol.. I will sure keep in touch with your blog :)..

Rui C..
Thanks .. Yeah I am just 25 years old, isn't it old ? :P lol.. I hope the same for you too :)..

Shabana said...

Hi Butterfly! Yes, I received both your comments and replied to them! :)

Butterfly Chick said...

well thats good .. thanks ^^

BlueGem said...

it's hard to forget someone u love special when everything in ur life reminds u at him, if u wanna walk away not bcoz u want too it's coz u wanted him to be happy,even that u can't write ur own story .. without u can't start the chapter one

sooo sad when u feel like tht everyday
waiting for destiy brings him back to ur life again so ur real smile will back again

http://youtu.be/m7mZgrmERBo

this video done by me .. it's like a story of mine i still said i'd give up on us i wanted her to move on coz she wanted tht too but i lied .. i can't do tht can't take a step

btw why are't u creat blog for 2011 last wishes or 2012 wishes coz 2011 ends now it's soo beautiful to know n it's funny too ^^

wish that ur all wishes been true << even me XD

happy new year sisooo ^_^

Sadness4ever said...

u can't write ur own story.. without him u can't write ur chapyer one

sorry my bad >_<

Butterfly Chick said...

Blue..
Hello dear how are you and everything?
Well I understand how when you love someone you cant let them go.. In my case its a bit different I guess..
I am gonna watch your video once I get back home I am currently at work & cant view videos..
About new year wishes.. Well.. I didnt expect new year to be like this.. I wished for something and I got disappointed to be honest.. But thank God for everything.. Perhaps not all what we want we can get.. Or we should wait for the best timing..!
Happy New Year to you too & may all your wishes come true :)

BlueGem said...

Well, Um Fine Thank U Butterfly,why what happened?? if it's privacy thing um sorry.. don't tell me ut's about ur country coz i heared today bad news :( wish u peace siso

just read what um wanna write now,

Please hear me now indeed
Not for myself but for a world in need

Everybody stay together
No one could torn apart
People be safe kindness happy
and wars would never start
Smiles, sweet tears will never washed away
And time is healing every single heart

everybody have a friend
evil gone and right will always win
And love role the world
never & never end

This is my prayer for every year

Best Wishes

BlueGem ^_^

Butterfly Chick said...

Blue..
I wish the best for my country too.. I hope peace come soon :)..
I wish love role the world too :).. Liked your prayer!
Wish you all the best .. Take care..