.....

They say some words are better left unspoken.. but sometimes, you just want to say whatever inside your chest and let it go.. & I think this is how you felt when you wanted to let go those words.. but.. I dunno whether I really deserved all the words you have said.. it really hurt me.. I read it over and over again and it hurt me so much that it made me cry… I didn’t know that I am a bad person.. this bad… I didn’t know that I have hurt those people who I really cared for and adored… I am hurt and I think this is what you wanted to make me feel… but wishing for my death? Isn’t it too much? Maybe I didn’t imagine that someone would wish me this… Maybe I didnt imagine that YOU would wish me this... its.. it’s a bit cruel.. & honestly its painful.. so painful…

I am sorry for everything... I am out of words and I dont know what to say... I am just wondering if there is anyone out there who is feeling the same about me... who is wishing the same... & to be honest... I am a bit scared... I mean, I mean who would be relaxed if he heard that someone is wishing him an awful life...! & you cant really do anything to change that person's mind...

I love writing since it makes me feel better... I am a bit better even though tears are still rolling in my eyes... I swear my intention was innocent when I asked about you, I didnt want anything or didnt mean anything and didnt mean to bring the past back to you... I was worried about a person I cared for one day... but I learned my lesson.. Leave the past for the past and never bring it back to the present/future... it might hurt you.....

....

Gone Girl vs The Girl on The Train

I recently finished reading "The Girl on the Train - by Paula Hawkins" .. It somehow reminded me of "Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn" .. Both books are nice and I can't tell which one I like better.. Well maybe I prefer Gone Girl.. If you like thriller, mystery books I would highly recommend to read these books.. It is far away from love stories and random books..

Here is a brief about each book...

 

 

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne's fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick's clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn't doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife's head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media--as well as Amy's fiercely doting parents--the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he's definitely bitter--but is he really a killer?

As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister, Margo, at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn't do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?

 

******

 

Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. “Jess and Jason,” she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel offers what she knows to the police, and becomes inextricably entwined in what happens next, as well as in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?

 

 

 

Knock! Knock! Is there anybody in here...?!

I can't believe it has been 3 years since I have last posted! Well.. almost 3 years !

I forgot my password.. I even forgot how to add a new post lol I guess I am just getting old!!

Hmm.. so anyone is here?! Any of my old readers?! New ones?!

I dunno why I came back here..  I missed this place.. It was like a home to me.. I enjoyed writing whatever I feel and whatever I want to say here.. without someone to judge!..  A lot of things changed in my life.. Other than getting married I have a son now.. 1 year old..

I have been thinking a lot lately.. About a lot of people who crossed my life.. I used to believe that if you think of someone they might be thinking of you at the same time.. Do you believe in that?

If anyone is here reading that.. Let me know your answers.. I would love to know if there is someone out there who is thinking the same!

Have a great month!

Hmmm!!

There is something wrong with me, with the blogs, bloggers, or nah with me?!

I love posting, I love writing, I love reading,! but lately been so busy to do all of this! lately I have nothing to post or write about!

Well,, I just got married and I guess I have been busy with marriage life! busy with work.. not having time to sit online and post or think of something to post..!

I have seen many bahraini blogs rising! so happy for that..! and seen some old bloggers returning back which also made me smile :) !

I never disappeared.. not completely I mean! I go and come, go and come..! I guess I will be posting recipes these days! staying at home made me cook! hahaha I am so proud of myself! I cooked rice today! for the first time on my life! I COOKED! Yes it is HUGE for me :P !! I never cooked! well you learn all the things when you get married :P ! Don't believe them when they say you have to learn from now naaah I never cooked with mom lol !

hmmm.. It is late.. sometimes I wonder, do people write on there blogs for other people to read or for them to just write and let go?! In my case.. I write to write! I know I always jump from one subject to another! but hey this is me :P I just write to write!

& yeah.. I removed the chity chat from my blog.. Sorry to all who were chatting with me there.. I will miss u! but the box was not fitting into the blog's column and it looked really bad so I had to remove it! if I found a better chat box I will try to add it to my blog.. I hope this doesnt stop you from visiting my blog :)

Good night all.. & Happy National Day Bahrain

Unspoken words

There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown. things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard or never even felt.

Now I have to be the strongest here.. The one who assure them that things are gonna be right.. But are things gonna be right?! We have been there.. Gone through this.. Fixed this.. But how many times we will fix it until its really fixed!!

Trust? Trust?! What is trust? How can you trust someone so blindly?! Why! Why would you betray this trust! What do you need more? What do you want more?! I cant understand why someone would do this! It is so painful! So pain inside.. I dont know how to deal with this..! All my life I was scared of betrayal and life surprised me with many ways of betrayals..!! I've seen it from everyone! Everyone I truly loved! Am I scared? Yes I am.. So scared of what life is bringing for me next! Things are falling apart yet I am trying to hold on.. Things are disappearing yet I am trying to clearly see.. I thank God for everything, yet I ask why this happened.. Why to us.. What went wrong.. What needs to be fixed.. Will things be back to normal? Will we forgive and forget AGAIN? Isn't it hard to continue forgiving people on the same mistakes they make?! Will Karma hit me on the face even when I had nothing to do with this!?

I pray silently.. I pray.. I pray to wake up from this horrible dream.. I pray to wake up again.. I pray .. But I am not even sure what to pray for.....!!

Truth or Dare

I was never a big fan of this game.. I always get embarrased when I play it! Perhaps because I am a shy person so I don't feel comfortable to be asked some private questions! I dunno why people ask these kind of questions! Such a stupid ones and the purpose is just to know more about your private life! It sucks!

Okay let's play? I wanna know more about you, your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend and the questions go into a very deep details! I sometimes also wonder how could people answer to these questions! Why would you answer? Why would anyone say the truth? Or are they saying the truth?

** Have you ever tried any drugs?
** Hmmm.. Silence << which would let you think that this person did try drugs.. Then a smile.. Then a NOOOOOO of course NOT!

Usually when someone asks me a private question I go red! I dunno what to answer and I stay silent.. I don't play this game I get forced to play it.. YEAH LET'S PLAY! LET US ROLL THE BOTTLE .. BOOM BUTTERFLY YOU ARE THE FIRST TO BE ASKED! ....!!

I also wonder why its easier to answer questions rather than accepting the dare! Perhaps because when people answer they can lie, but there is nothing to lie about in daring!

I suck at answering questions & I suck at even asking questions.. I thought this game is fun, but since I have been there I knew that people only play it to get into each others privacy.. Or perhaps it is how people do it here..

I am off to bed.. I have a bad headache today.. I have been thinking a lot on shutting this blog of.. I might be doing it soon.. Perhaps yes and perhaps not.. Will see how it goes.. Good night all and have a great weekend..

just for me to stay awake!

Oh God.. I am soooooooooo soooooooooo soooooooooooooo 7adi very much sleeeeppppppyyyyyy!
I cant work, kelma ashte'3el 3yooni t'3ame'9! seriously I am falling asleep.. gabel cham yoom.. chee I was working o ada5el numbers.. mara wa7da chaaan.. 5oshh .. '36aat 3aini.. LOL min 9ijii I slept for 1 min :P rasi kan be6eg fel desk so thats why ge7a9t LOL.. esta'3fer allah .. I love ramadan.. I do.. bas dawami wayed mut3eb in ramadan.. I have to wake up at 6 am cuz dwami at 7.. o I try to sleep early but I also wanna spend some time with my family at night.. I usually sleep at 12 these days so next day adawem metkasra.. 5wati now ejazat el 9aif 3endhum so they all stay up to 2 am yets7roon weya ba3ath.. ela ana 7ta su7oor matsa7ar :(!! ga3da afaker a5eth ejaza a5er yoom fe hal sboo3 shraykum?! abee arta7 shway + thyabi el 3eed la7een ma5l9thum! bas agool 7ram el wa7ed ya5eth ejaza fe ramdan! ya3ni its only 6 hours laish a5aser ejazati.. Hmm let me c cham yoom 3endi.. ee walla agdar a5eth! madriii hmmm..
b3d shenoo.. I only do this for me not to sleep.. zain shway 9a79a7t! shakli rada b3d 3gb shway to talk bas 3shan I dun feel asleep!